no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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