My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
