She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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