friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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