I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
