Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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