He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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