Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize