I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize