Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
