you would pick up someone in the library
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
