dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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