you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
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So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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