so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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