well you can't waste a boner
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize