I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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