So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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