You really coming over, don't trick.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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