This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
