my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize