Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
