If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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