my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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