trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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