you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
