in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
