Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Brb crying the tears of my youth
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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