I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
