i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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