dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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