So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
