Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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