Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
