using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
