I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
