Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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