she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
