You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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