I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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