She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
