do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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