I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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