I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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