No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
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