Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
