addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
