Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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