so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
