I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize