I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
