the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
