If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots