no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.