I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.