Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
