no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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