My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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