They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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